After lots of guilty thoughts about the shawl, I called her last night to tell her I had bitten off more than a mouthful. As expected, Angela was tremendously gracious, and said she understood. I know I'm being harder on myself than anyone else will be, and I did feel as if a weight had been lifted when I was able to remove it from my list of impending obligations.
So there you go: no lace for ravelympics, no deadline of November 3, and most importantly, a resolution to avoid overcommitting myself. Who knows if I can keep that self-imposed law, but I hope I can.
I would like to try lace again soon, because I feel as if I'd really take to it, but not with so many expectations, and perhaps on a smaller scale.